Diary Entry- 12th June, 2008
Sick world, eh?
Guy was murdered outside my house the other day, cops only just cleared off. I have lived in this godawful town for 17 years, and nothing has ever happened. Why is it, that whenever you just accept something, fate comes back and inverts it all. The most boring place on the planet, and there are going to be news crews and police around the neighbourhood for the next week or so. Not brilliant for someone who suffers from mild xenophoia*. But, if there's one thing I have learned about life, it's that you just have to put up with stuff sometimes. But yeah, so much for this being the place where nothing happens.
I don't know if I'll bother going to school tomorrow, seeing as everyone at school is going to be asking me about anything and everything to do with the murder. I know my mum doesn't like it when I truant, but if she really wants me to spend 6 hours in an enclosed room with 30 total imbeciles, none of whom I associate/sympathise with, then she is in some need of assistance. It's not like I learn anything there anyway, is it. It does get annoying though, going aainst the grain of society. Like whenever I do go to school, the head teacher always wants to talk to me about my long absences, and my mum sits me down for a "seious chat" every once in a while. But I guess that is the price of some basic kind of freedom. If like freedom, you should find it somewhere else though, my way of life is a lonely and unhappy one. I have separated myself from any other people that I should hold dear to me, at great cost to me and anyone that ever loved me. My heart is akin to a stone plunged into the arctic ocean, and left there for a thousand years. This is me, and I see nothing changing me. I am devoid of any commitments, and I intend to keep it that way.
My name is [umm, help please?]. I am 17 years old, and very odd, if you measure me against society's norm. I have a recorded IQ of 170, but my actual IQ would be much higher. I am labelled many things, but I have very little respect for labels assigned to me. I hate nothing more than spending time with other people my age, and they hate spending time with me, so I have just decided to avoid anyone my age. Me not being one to discriminate, however, I have basically avoided everyone for the past 18 months.
The only thing in my life that is honest, true, and has any meaning to me is math. Math is both the love- and the bane- of my life. In my short life alone, I have discovered 13 brand new theories, proved 43 little known ones, as well as accrueing the equivalent of an advaned P.H.D in Mathematics.
In spite of all that though, I am not famous, nor loved nor cherished. I lay forgotten in the middle of nowhere, living this superficial life, locking myself in my room, and keeping everything in my life totally secret. Gifted, would be the term for my abilities, but that is not true. I would cross a sea of nails to be normal, to lead an ordinary life. As I am, I am disregarded, misunderstood and unloved. So I lock myself away in the only place I have left- My room.
Everything I have ever known, been or loved is in my room. Nobody else wants to, or is allowed to enter it. I come in here to escape the people who want to learn about my "gifts". They don't know me, don't want to, and never will. I have put up barriers around my life, and no-one will ever be able to bring them own; no-one will ever be close to me; I will never be close to anyone else. And the depressing thing is, this is the way I prefer it under my circumstances- if no-one understands me, and nobody wants to, then I don't want to know them.
Rough, I know. The text comes after the graphic section, if you were wondering.
I think I will do th whole thing like this now- as in, the narrative are first person diary entries, but the graphic sections are very often separate from him, and he is never the main subject of them. This would be a nice way to put different views into the story, without upsetting the flow.
As per usual, please tell me what you think (if there is, actually anyone there, of course).
Also, struggling with names for the character. I want it to be something unusual, definitely, because then it has the potential to be something he detests, and I can play around with it, adding a new facet of misery to his life.
24 June 2008
The prologue is done!!!
Posted by Max PW at 21:46
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2 comments:
Hey, so I’ve been reading through Haven a bit lately, and was linked to your blog. If you don’t mind, I’ll give you some of my advice with regards to this passage. Feel free to ignore it completely, or if you do listen, take whatever I say with a grain of salt (my own novel is far from completed).
First of all, be careful not to make the character too one dimensional – the “pity me, I'm a misunderstood math genius who has no friends” type character. I guess this will come naturally as the novel progressed, but try to delve deeper into his inner thoughts; really let the reader feel why he’s so depressed, why he feels so misunderstood, etc. In this section I didn’t get much beyond “I’m a genius, I hate people, nobody understands me”, but I personally know there’s so much more to it than that, so let the reader feel that too.
Also, you really need to be careful not to fall into the trap that many authors do when writing about gifted children. I absolutely hate being told that a character is a genius, without seeing it for myself (you know the saying “show, don’t tell”). For instance, instead of simply stating that he’s proven numerous mathematical theorems, show him actually doing some math. I know that might be a little hard in diary format, but having him describe the thoughts that go through his head when he’s solving a difficult math problem is much more effective than simply stating how much he loves math or how accomplished he is in the field. Talk about a specific interaction with another child his age instead of simply saying he hates his peers, and it’ll become so much more obvious why he does, and how he feels about it.
Also, a pet peeve of mine, but I hate mentions of IQ all together. The readers shouldn’t need that number to understand that he’s gifted, and as a gifted child myself I refuse to tell anyone my IQ. I don’t think it means anything, and quite frankly IQ discussions just piss me off.
Overall, though, it’s a really good start. Great concept and good luck with it! And sorry for the long comment...
no, what you have here is good, and pretty much what I was comingup with myself. This is kind of his lifebook, though, so there will be formulae appearing in it. I don't know if you saw my thread in the pan-artistic lounge, but I have put up an ammended version, which is coming up on here very soon.
I will be going deeper into his life, opinions, thoughts, you know. The second chapter will actually look more at his nature, and what has lead him to take his stance on the rest of humanity.
You don't need to worry, he will prove himself in the future- The main thing is actually that he is officially gifted, but he hates his intelligence and just wants to be normal, however. He will show everyone that he will never fit in, though.
I don't really like IQ, but I did dumb it down in version 1.1. I thought it is a good indicator, and although I think it would be a bad move to remove any mention of IQ altogether, I may.. relocate it somewhere else.
Don't worry about comment length, say what you need to say, and I will read it. It is nice to have some critical critique actually, if you know what I mean, so thanks Tamara!
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